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Starting School - Coping with Separation Anxiety
Starting School - Coping with Separation Anxiety
Does separation anxiety affect the kids or the parents more?
It depends on the child’s experiences when they are young. Erick Erickson, a developmental psychologist, put together a list of emotional milestones. The first milestone, basic trust or mistrust, relates best to preschoolers.
It is important that the preschooler has learned to trust their parent or caregiver. Do not leave to go to work or home and tell your preschooler “I will be right back”. They will learn not to trust what you say.
Preschoolers want to set off on their own and explore, but when something goes wrong they want to come running back to a trusted adult. It is important for them to know that they have a caring adult they can trust. Help your preschooler to develop into a socially and emotionally strong individual.
Are children who have been left with others before starting preschooler less likely to have separation anxiety?
Try and keep the same childcare provider for as long as possible so your preschooler can develop strong bonds and a sense of security. Having too many people care for your child could cause problems for them in the future if your child is not able to fall into a routine.
Attend a preschool open house so your child can get used to the new environment and meet their new teacher. Make it clear to your preschooler what to expect when they go to preschool. Preschoolers love routines. Help them to establish a clear routine for preparing to go to school, going to school, and being picked up from school. Preschoolers do not have a concept of time so instead of telling your preschooler what time you will pick them up tell them you will pick them up after the last activity. That will give your preschooler an idea of when to expect you back. School day routines become rituals and preschoolers do not like it when they change.
How can we prepare our preschoolers to start school? How soon should you start preparing them to start school?
Begin by putting your child in a preschool program for only a few hours a day rather than a full day program. Create secure routines for preschoolers who start school early. Pick your preschooler up from school early if they are having a bad day.
Limit outside activities so your preschooler does not become overly tired or stressed. Make sure your preschooler has playtime outside of school to get out extra energy.
Practice being separated from your preschooler. Let them visit relatives or friends so that they can have the experience of being away from you. Every preschooler has a different temperament and they will all react differently to being left at preschool.
Is it helpful to talk about starting preschool to get your preschooler ready to go to school?
It’s a good idea to introduce your preschooler to the idea that they are going to be starting preschool but do not overdo it. Make it a loving and positive thing. Talking about what to expect when they start preschool helps your child to understand what is going to be coming next. Be positive when talking about and taking your child to preschool so your preschooler will feel confident.
Some preschools will have a “Boo-Hoo Breakfast” where preschoolers and parents can have breakfast together and have a chance to get used to preschool drop offs.
After you have made a promise to your preschooler you need to keep it. If you tell your preschooler you are going to stay until a particular activity is ended and then you are going to leave then you need to follow through with what you have said.
Talk to other parents about how you feel so that you can be comfortable with leaving your child at preschool.
What should parents do to successfully handle dropping their preschooler off at school?
Tell your preschooler how long you are going to stay and then tell them that you will be leaving. Let your preschooler know that you will be back when they are done playing to pick them up. Your preschooler may surprise you and quickly become engaged in an activity. Be sure to tell your preschooler goodbye before you leave.
Should you have your preschooler talk to the preschool teacher before you leave?
Yes. That should be a part of the preschool teacher’s routine so they can assess the needs of each preschooler.
How do you deal with situations when your child is clingy and does not want you to leave?
Sometimes preschoolers will cry when you leave but generally they stop crying only a few minutes after the parent has left. Preschoolers need to be respected. It is important to listen to their feelings.
If you, as a parent, do not feel comfortable with the situation and you do not feel like your preschooler is happy at school change schools. Follow your instincts and make the best choice for your family.
Step outside of the classroom and wait for a few minutes. Do not let your preschooler see you. Have a receptionist or another parent peek in and let you know how your preschooler is doing.
Use email to stay in touch with your child’s preschool teacher. Ask for updates on how your preschooler is doing.
Most of the time separation anxiety is temporary. Children do learn to make a place for themselves in their preschool setting. Sometimes it feels like it may last forever but that is rarely the case.
Preschool Rock Moms Internet Radio Show - Coping with Separation Anxiety
Starting School - Coping with Separation AnxietyThe school year is about to start and the anxiety for parents and kids begins to rise. The first day of school can be overwhelming for some children. Even if the child has spent some time away from mom and dad, getting dropped off at school can generate separation anxiety. Preschool Program Director, Magda Santos, tells you how to handle separation anxiety so you and your child can feel good about going off to school. Listen to the show now!
More Information on Dealing with Separation Anxiety
Coping with Separation Anxiety at Preschool
It is common for your preschool to experience separation anxiety when they are dropped off at preschool. Dealing with a preschooler who does not want to leave your side can be difficult. If you are consistent they can learn to trust their new preschool environment and their new preschool teacher.
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